Unless something goes horribly wrong (and when doesn’t it in Hollywood?), cameras are set to roll this July on the big screen adaptation of L.A. Bizarro–or at least the harrowing adventures the book’s authors endured in writing the new edition.

“It kind of just came out of the blue,” said co-author Tony “Anthony” Lovett. “We received a phone call from a production exec at Hudnut Films, took a few meetings, and the next thing we knew the project had been green-lighted. It all happened so fast.”

Reached at his remote woodland estate in Vermont, co-author Matt Maranian was still circumspect about the production. “It definitely feels like a dream,” he said, “and if there’s one thing I have learned from the entertainment business, it’s that dreams rarely come true.”

Indeed, more than one obstacle stands in the way of the July 13 shooting date currently etched in stone. Like casting.

“We’d like Matt and Tony to play themselves,” said Lloyd Levy of Hudnut, and the man who has championed bringing the underground cult book to the silver screen. “They’re both fine actors in their own right, but there are concerns regarding their lack of name recognition as well some physical traits that have to be carefully assessed and perhaps adjusted.”

What kind of “adjustments” does Levy have in mind? “Unless we’re going for that John Candy/Zero Mostel kind of thing, Tony will probably have to lose some weight. Well, a lot of weight. I hate to say it, but most filmgoers have a hard time accepting fat actors as the leads, unless they’re that curly-haired guy in all the Apatow flicks, or Tony Soprano. And while we know that cute BBWs like Anna Nicole Smith test well in the upper midwest, last we checked, Tony is still a guy,” Levy chuckled.

Matt presents a different problem to the producers. “He’s very shiny,” Levy said. “Normal make-up doesn’t cut it. So we’ve been testing some new stuff based on–believe it or not–spray foam developed by the military for riot control. It seems to be cutting down on his sheen, but not as much as we’d like. And although it worked for Al Jolson, one of the greatest entertainers who ever lived, blackface is apparently out of the question,” Levy admitted with a sigh of disappointment. “The good news is we easily can solve his height challenge with six-inch platform shoes .”

Levy has also not ruled out the possibility of having “real actors” play the writing duo. “Judd Nelson and Kevin Branagh have each expressed interest in the projectit, but they’re both a little too old,” Levy says. “Ideally we’d like to get Bob Downey to play Tony and Ed Furlong for Matt. Damon and Affleck would also work well. The possibilities are endless, but we have to act fast.”

Indeed, with boffo bio-pic screenwriters Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski working on the final draft, and German indie import Ulli Lommel set to direct, time is running out. “I think we’ll make it, but just barely,” added Levy, noting that the shooting date could not be moved due to “contractual obligations” with Circus Liquor in Burbank, where most of the movie will take place.

So how do the authors feel about having other writers adapt their work, much less the possibility of being aced out of playing themselves on screen? Truth be told, both seem rather nonplussed by either notion.

“Writing is hard work,” Lovett said in a recent interview. Digging into his second bag of Peanut Butter & Chocolate Bugles in 15 minutes, he expressed relief that Alexander and Karaszewski were tackling the screenplay. “Look what they did for Ed Wood. He was basically a talentless alcoholic tranny loser. Other than the stockings and angora thing, Wood and I have a lot in common. So if they can do for me even a fraction of what they did for Wood, I may able to get into Musso & Frank again.”

We caught up with Maranian, an avid fan of nude chainsawing, dressed only in rugged boots and stretch cap, as he was about to take on a thicket of bothersome pines on his back forty. He seemed equally at ease with not having to play himself on screen. “They even proposed that Tony and I play each other, but it seemed too gimmicky. I wouldn’t mind playing myself, but I won’t be heartbroken if they go with someone else. Frankly, I’d like to see Rebecca Black tackle my role, and that woman from Drop Dead Diva play Tony. Now THAT would be a twist!” he said with a laugh as he donned protective googles and started the chainsaw.

A relative newcomer to the Hollywood scene, Hudnut Films has already created a quiet reputation for picking winners, including last year’s sleeper hit, Log Jam, and 2009′s Golden Globe nominee for best documentary, Shemp: Not Just Another Pretty Stooge. The fledgling studio has high hopes for the L.A. Bizarro project, now tentatively titled A Tale of Two Guys and a City. “We’re proud of everything we’ve produced so far,” Levy boasted, “but we believe this project is going to put us in a new league. Hello, Oscars!”

Hello, indeed.